DavesDigest

A class theme presented throughout the semester has been the psychological effects and impacts of war on families, friends, and relationships.  As I watched Wood TV 8 prepare for the homecoming of Alpha Company Marine Josh Hoffman, I began to realize how people handle the impacts of war.  Hoffman, originally from Kentwood Michigan, was seriously injured in Iraq and came back to the U.S. where he has undergone serious medical treatment for his injuries.  His injuries are serious and as a result he is paralyzed and is aided my machines which keep him alive.  Hoffman’s injuries have impacted his relationship with his family and girlfriend. How they are handling it is truly amazing.

In an article published by Wood TV 8, Hoffman’s brother made a comment about his return from Iraq, “it’s just like getting a present that you know you’re going to have forever.” 

There are two ways for Hoffman to look at the future and how to handle it: 1) to be positive, thankful, and grateful or 2) be sorrowful, angry, and depressed.  And Hoffman, along with his family, friends, and significant other has chosen number one. 

The impacts of war can be life threatening for people and the approach that individuals take determines that outcome.   Hoffman has been in a relationship for several years and his girlfriends approach on their future is extremely positive.  Hoffman’s girlfriend said, “We get to focus on our relationship, and not have to just focus on the medical. We get to continue our relationship and enjoy that.”  The approach that Hoffman’s closest people have taken is difficult to do.  It also reflects his attitude on how he is going handle his situation in the future.  His brother said, “He’ll see all the support he has. He’ll be, like, ‘Man, I gotta get strong; show that I can do this.’ That’s just the way my brother was. He’s a fighter.” 

Hoffman was flown to the Airport in Grand Rapids where was greeted by hundreds of people.  Fortunately, I was one of them because of my position at a police department, and was able witness seeing Hoffman and his motorcade.  More importantly, I witnessed the support from the community that Hoffman deserves.   There were people standing on every street and on every corner waving, clapping, and saluting Hoffman as the ambulance that was carrying him went by.  Even though I am not a family member of Hoffman, I was impacted by what he did for our country and even more so, how he and his family are coping with the effects. I stood there with hundreds of others watching a soldier and a hero who sacrificed his life for our freedoms and more directly, the freedoms for the people in Iraq.  Hoffman’s heroism can be debated because there are people that don’t look at what Hoffman did, and significantly more so, how he is coping with his condition as a result of what he has done.  His character speaks for is heroism, “he did not want any pictures of his deplaning shown. Hoffman didn’t want ‘a pity party’.” 

How can others have the strength that Hoffman shows when dealing with such a depressing situation?  How can families, friends, and significant others cope with the impacts of war on their beloved soldiers?

Wood TV 8

March 25, 2008

One of the most difficult aspects of war is the psychological impacts that is has on others, such as family and friends.  Throughout the semester we have focused on themes found in the text that we have read and analyze the connections that the authors are making.  The psychological effects of war are something that I cannot fully understand or experience because I currently do not have a friend or relative serving in the military.  I find this theme to be challenging as a student to understand and discuss because of its psychological impacts.  As I read letters from the wives whose husbands are fighting in WWII in “Since You Went Away” by Judy Litoff and David Smith, I begin to understand how positive and supportive the wives were of their husband’s.

The letters show how much the wives cared about their husbands during the war.  The wives write the letters with a very positive tone of voice.  For example, in a letter from Isabel on December 28, 1944 she writes, “I find that I am thrilled at some of the visions I have of our life when you get back…”  In addition there is evidence of how difficult it was to cope with the stress and the loneliness of being a military spouse.  The latter theme appeared throughout most of the letters.  In a letter by Renee she writes, “I am beginning to get very weary now and nervous…” which illustrates again, how intricate it is to be a military spouse.

Since WWII there have been many American wives who have had to deal with the deployment of a husband going to war.  The psychological impacts are still the same, but the advanced technology has changed the means of communication from hand written letters to emails and satellite video.  As I listened to a podcast from a military spouse talk radio show, a spouse discussed the loss of her husband in Iraq and the emotional rollercoaster she has went through. 

Rachael Arroyave, who lost her husband when he died in a non-combat mission, became very emotional throughout her conversation on the radio talk show.  Her voice cracked as she tried to explain her experience of what it was like to be a single mother and explain to her children that “daddy won’t be coming home.”  Fortunately, her oldest daughter was able to see her daddy one last time via satellite video as he told her that he loved her with all his heart and to give her new baby sister a kiss for him when she is born.  Unlike during WWII, the methods of communication have become enhanced so that the families can interact with soldiers live over satellite video.  These new technologies offer more realistic communication and comfort to families but there are still the same physiological impacts of war that do not change.

Whether it is through letters or video, the words are still the same.  The pain, agony, and emotional rollercoaster still exist.  As Arroyave mentioned, “even after two years, I still have my really good days but my kids and I have more really bad days.  It just depends on the day.  The one thing I do is spend as much time with my kids as I can because they are the most important thing in my life.”

Dealing with the psychological effects of losing a spouse or having a spouse go to war is a life challenging experience.  For the individuals that do not have to deal with it should maybe step back and attempt to reach out to those who need support.               

As I read the post by Ken Mahoy called “The Fog of Life” I was so deeply moved by the way he told his story about missing his family.  Stanford mentions how he is “struggling” with being a soldier and being away from his family.  This made me think of so many things.  It made me think if what it would be like to be in his position.  I recall our class discussion on themes of text that we have read throughout the semester and I think of heroism, the impact of war on families, and the impact of visualization as it relates to Mahoy post. 

In class we discussed heroism as “self sacrifice for others.”  I think that Mahoy and other soldiers have made the sacrifice for family, which is the most painful element of going to war.  Leaving a family to go to war reflects some element of heroism.  I am a believer that heroism can mean so much, including sacrificing your family. 

Mahoy mentions the realities of war and how they have impacted his life.  His experience seems to have made him aware of how important family is, especially children.  He also discusses how change sets in and at some point it all seems to be over as reality sets in.  He writes that there is “no more patriotic propaganda or pep rallies” and how you “can’t just push past the pain of missing your kids.”

Mahoy’s post meant so much more than some of the other posts I have read because he added something; visualization.  He writes about his kids but he also placed photographs of them in his post.  The photographs allowed me, and I’m sure others, to look at the children that he misses so much and see exactly what they look like.  Pictures can mean more than words.  Just like the graphic novel Maus the author is able to use visuals as an emphasis of ideas.  Visualization also adds expressions, emphasis, and details that words cannot.  Mahoy is emphasizing his children and his love for them. War imposes the realities that one might not visualize in everyday life, which makes me feel a sense of guilt for taking everyday I get to see my family for granted. 

Ken Mahoy

The Fog of Life

3/14/08

The Sandbox